you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
