life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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