Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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