Can i not drive my cunt home
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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