If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize