maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
