fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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