found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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