I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
