Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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