I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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