she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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