The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
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