He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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