so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
