If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
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I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
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Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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