If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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