there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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