So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
