Pants 0. Shit 1.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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