WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
