I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
