I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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