Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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