Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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