Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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