worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
