It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
