Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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