Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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