I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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