this beer tastes like vomit already
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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