Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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