I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Mom said you looked used
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
