And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
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Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
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Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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