Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
In America we eat man semen.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
