I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
you never un-have a 4some
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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