I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
