Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
it was like eating out sand paper
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
