why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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