he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
