Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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