period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
