If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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