Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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