I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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