Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
