guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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