i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
