The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Farmville is her only friend.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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