Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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