A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
