K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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