Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize