I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
