haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
