And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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