Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
