I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
