I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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