I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Randomize
