I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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