i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
