just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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