Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
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And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
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I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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